Yoking Avishek February 10, 2006

Avishek comes from a family of farmers from a place near Patna. His father is a small farmer; the land holding is about three acres but the family is able to make both ends meet. Avishek has two younger sisters. One is a graduate and the family’s top-most priority is to get her married. The younger sister is in college but is unfortunately going through a tough patch for health-related reasons. Avishek was sent off on a scholarship to a Sainik School somewhere and, from there, he managed to get through to a reasonably good engineering college.This year, the 22-year-old begun his first job in a reputed organisation, and he is assigned to one of the best areas that promises to enable him to reach his potential. But there is a catch. His job requires that he learns with greater intensity than he had to show at college. It also requires that he works closely with his team; he looks around and participates in all organisational activities and spends time in getting coached and mentored. All in all, for him to succeed, he needs to be immersed in the work and everything around it for the first two or three years of his career so that he can be confident of having created a solid foundation for himself. In many ways, from a career standpoint, his getting a job in a good company is not equal to his being born into a great career. His career has only been conceived. Avishek’s father does not know all this. To him, Avishek has finished college and is now in charge. So Avishek has two tasks: One, he has to marry off his sisters—read, pay the dowry. Considering his caste, and the fact that the village now knows of his job status, the money we are talking about here is estimated at Rs 15 lakh. To add to this forward-looking requirement, his father recently brought his younger sister to Avishek and left her with him so that he can take care of her as well. Avishek is not protesting. He is just bewildered. How will he do it? He needs to arrange Rs 15 lakh within the next five years, he has to get the sister medically treated and must run around city hospitals and, at the same time, implant himself in his new work environment, where he has to compete with hundreds of new entrants such that people take notice. When he met me with the innocence of a 22-year-old, I saw in his eyes the picture of a calf whose owner wants him yoked, but whose shoulders are not yet strong enough. There is no villainous intent; there is just ignorance about what a job is and what level of serious time investment is needed in the early years to be steady enough before someone can take on larger family responsibilities. Avishek’s father is only fifty and is in good health. There is no reason for him to abdicate the throne. In his eyes, however, “ Ab ladka bada ho gaya hai. Wohi sambhal lega.’’ If only someone told him that he needs to give Avishek some more space and a little more leeway before converting him into an automated teller machine. Avishek is not alone. I know two other examples of very bright people who were yoked too soon. In the process, one derailed his career and the other did somewhat alright but could have gone way longer had he been given if that little additional consideration by his family. The former colleague was under so much pressure to marry off his sisters that, in search of dowry, he left a great company with an excellent career potential and joined a socalled MNC just for that higher salary. That higher salary he got for a while, but in the ensuing five years, he changed three jobs as companies came and went and now the man is barely hanging in there. He lost out in the prime of his career.The second person has a great research and development mind who lived all his formative years just worrying about arranging dowry because he was born with the tag of the eldest son of the family who is, from now on, responsible. I am proud to be part of the Indian social system. We are not a “me, myself and I’’ society. I find that despite so-called modernity, the average Indian youth is deeply committed to the family and more than willing to share the larger responsibility. But if responsibilities become a burden and a young calf is yoked before his time has come, who wins? All I ask from Avishek’s father is, please give the young boy just five more years. Source : http://digvijayankoti.blogspot.in/2009/04/subroto-bagchi-speaks-all-articles-by.html